Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
