well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
