how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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