I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
soo... how was my night?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
