I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
