Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
