and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
