just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
