They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
