You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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