when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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