member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
