i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
