"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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