update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
