I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
