just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
