I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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