I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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