Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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