I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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