You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
