What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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