i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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