I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
