I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Sorry my hands just texted you
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
