So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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