one two three fourrrrnication!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
