Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I don't deserve a penis
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
