She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
