One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
