After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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