Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
