My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
