yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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