I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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