I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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