How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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