New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
