Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
