covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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