my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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