I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
