Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
