this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
