we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I still have a little drunk in my system
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
