So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
