nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
