Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
