Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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