Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
