I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
