My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
